Caring from afar

Celal, our Finance Reporting Officer, tells us about his family’s experience of supporting his mother Hayat, 92, and his now late father Bedii across two continents

Tell us a bit about your parents... My parents emigrated from Turkey to the US in 1956. My father was a doctor specialising in anaesthesiology and went to the US on a student visa. They lived in New York and then New Jersey, before moving to Ottawa, Canada, for several years and then relocating again to Indiana. Wherever they went they were actively involved in the Turkish community.

Your father passed away in May 2020. How did you cope as a family? Obviously, there were international travel restrictions due to COVID-19 so my wife Fatma and I couldn’t attend the funeral. Even though my father’s passing was expected, you really only grieve when the person is actually gone. It was difficult not being with my mom at this time. After he passed, my mom then flew to These days, many of us live far away from ageing parents or relatives. Celal, our Finance Reporting Officer, tells us about his family’s experience of supporting his mother Hayat, 92, and his now late father Bedii across two continents Indianapolis to stay with my sister-in-law (my brother died a few years ago) and her children so at least she wasn’t alone.

Your mom then travelled to Turkey. How did that come about? She needed to return to Turkey to clear out the flat she and my father owned there, before selling it. She found the experience of air travel as an older person very easy as there was a lot of support. She was wheeled through security and onto the plane, and there was someone at the other end to get her luggage for her. While she was in Turkey sorting her affairs she stayed in a care home, where she was well looked after.

What advice would you give to anyone who is looking for a care home in a different country? It’s good if you have someone who can go and look around in person. My cousin visited several care homes and said this was the best. If there is someone who can visit regularly, that can make a lot of difference. We’re fortunate because my cousin can pop in regularly and help manage things like my mom’s online banking. I think it’s difficult for those who have no visitors. There is one lady at my mom’s care home who has no visitors and she seems very lonely.