Highlighting the ‘accidental’ carers

The 7^th to 13^th June has been designated Carers’ Week - an annual campaign arranged by Carers UK. The aim is to ‘To Make Caring Visible and Valued.’ The campaign highlights the challenges unpaid carers face and recognises the contribution they make to families and communities throughout the UK. Significantly, it also helps family members who have become ‘accidental carers’ those wives, husbands, sons, and daughters to recognise that they have, indeed become carers, so they can access much-needed support. They are, in a sense, ‘accidental carers’. They didn’t plan it, and neither are they trained for it. They will be people like Jane (name changed), who has been classified as a carer after her husband David (name changed) was diagnosed with dementia.

David, a retired pastor now in his late 80s, had had a few TIAs (transient ischaemic attacks, little mini strokes in his brain) and his health had declined steadily since then. Everything about him gradually slowed down - from his conversation to the way he walked, even laying the cutlery on the table. But he seemed to be ‘holding’ on a health plateau, until the Covid pandemic when suddenly he and Jane found themselves isolated in lockdown. After a lifetime being surrounded by people, they suddenly found themselves alone for days on end. David has never taken to mobile phones and the Internet, and Jane managed to keep them connected to their family and church fellowship and friends, but David gradually became more and more withdrawn until he stopped talking to her. Their GP arranged a visit to the psychiatrist who diagnosed a combination of vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s.

Then followed visits from someone from social services who evaluated their needs, and Jane found herself labelled as David’s ‘carer’. To her surprise she is being paid for the role. She has gone from wife, lifelong companion, and best friend to carer. But a complication is that she is waiting for a heart operation that has been delayed because of Covid, and most of the time battles deep fatigue and breathlessness.

A ray of hope came during Easter week, when they were given a copy of our Easter Brain and Soul Boosting workbook. Jane had expected to lead them through the six sessions, but when David saw the words on the page, he began to read them, and went on to lead through the sessions. Jane thinks that it was because the theme resonated with his pastor’s heart and life’s work, and brought him out of his apathy.

Another touch of sunshine came as lockdown lightened and her daughter and son-in-law came to visit. They took David for a walk and a visit to a garden centre, and Jane said that having the short break lifted her spirits and helped her to rest for a whole afternoon.

Breaks are enormously important for carers. Carers UK is using Carers Week to shine a spotlight on the lack of breaks that carers have been able to take in the past year, and the worrying impact this is having on their health and wellbeing, as well as their ability to work and live a meaningful life beyond caring. They said, ‘To address this situation, we are calling on the government to urgently increase funding for carers’ breaks by an additional £1.2 billion, so all carers providing significant hours of care can take a break.’ Carers UK would like everyone to write to their member of Parliament supporting their request.

Among the help that Jane and David have been offered is a small amount of money for them to be able to take a little holiday. Jane has been so tired that they have even considered a weekend in a local hotel. They’ve been overjoyed to learn about Middlefields House, our new home in Chippenham, and have chosen it for some respite care when it opens in August.

One of the good things to come out of the Covid pandemic is awareness of the value of carers, both in their own homes and in residential care homes. It means that they are now visible and valued, but there is much more to be done, including continuing support. A good social care plan has been promised but still seems nowhere in sight. It’s good to remember that ‘prayer changes things’. Often it seems the least that we can do, but it’s actually the most powerful. Let’s pray that the government puts in place a thoughtful, well-funded plan.