Meet a volunteer... Helen

I’ll also support games and quizzes, or join in with the singing. Someone else plans the activity and I just turn up and help. It works well – at 87, you don’t want the responsibility of the planning but you’re glad to be of help.

We’re always joking and having a laugh. Sometimes I’ll tease the family members a little bit – I'm a great one for joshing people – but of course I’ll only do it if I think it’s appropriate.

I’ve always enjoyed helping. My parents were like that too so it’s what I’ve always done. In my working life, I was a solicitor so that was my way of helping. I enjoy being around people and need the contact as well, so it’s good all-round.

I’ve got to know some of the family members really well. There’s one lady who loves cats. I was going through some things at home and came across some pictures of cats that I thought she’d like. I took them in and she is delighted and now has them up on the wall in her room.

Through volunteering, I’ve learnt a lot more about dementia. We recently had a training session that was so useful – there were things I had no idea about. For example, I didn’t realise that as the condition progresses a person’s field of vision can become quite restricted, sometimes to the point where they only have binocular vision. I now know not to approach someone from the side as it might frighten them.

Another thing we explored is the value of touch. I had been wondering whether holding people’s hands was appropriate or not. The session brought home how reassuring people find this. Lots of family members will want to hold my hand, sometimes even both hands. They find it comforting. But, of course, not everyone likes having their hand held. So you really have to be attuned to a person’s needs and get to know what each individual wants. I go in tentatively and see how the person responds.

It’s nice to be part of a team of volunteers of all ages. Some are volunteering as part of their Duke of Edinburgh Award, others do it as part of their training. The family members like seeing young people.

I think I probably have a lot to bring as an older volunteer, too. I can tell them things about my life that they identify with, or things about the local area. I remember the war and we know lots of the same old songs. I see people’s faces brighten as they remember.

Helping at Milward House is very spiritually encouraging. There’s a Christian atmosphere, with mutual understanding. The relaxed, comforting and uplifting feeling brings joy and smiling to all who live, work or volunteer there. I always leave a little physically tired, but definitely spiritually energised!